The Border Patrol Is An Unaccountable Boy’s Club

Border douchebags

In the year 2012, 79% of U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) employees were men. Even on its own, I found this statistic to be striking; though it became particularly so when viewed within the context of a government report listing employee demographics across agencies, wherein one finds that males make up just over half the federal workforce generally.

Perhaps this simple demographic fun-fact can explain the rampant terminations for misconduct at the CBP — as well as those produced by its subsidiary agency, the Stalin-esque creation some refer to euphemistically as the U.S. Border Patrol (USBP). Indeed, given their testosterone-soaked workforce, can’t we all just shrug off their abuses? “Boys will be boys” goes the saying, after all.

Unsurprisingly, the gender breakdown of the CBP’s workforce parallels our nation’s law enforcement workforce generally; but simply skim the numbers, and you’ll realize that the USBP oversees comparatively epidemic levels of misconduct in its corps — worse, even, than those of its notorious half-twin, the fascistic paramilitary known best by its Orwellian misnomer of “ICE”, short for “Immigrations and Custom Enforcement.” Gag me.

Anyways, lets take stock  – given the CBP’s well-established record of misconduct, and understanding that it does direct the largest police force in our land, and considering the often violent and dehumanizing nature of the work it traffics in, it seems beyond obvious that this agency should be relentlessly subjected to an extraordinary amount of federal oversight. Right?

Hmmm, you know what, actually —  how about instead, we task them with conducting their own “internal investigations’ — which, of course, are perfectly okay to undergo,  assuming they’re performed in addition to external ones, not rather than them.

Honestly, even an elementary reading of this issue is enough to see why calling these bureaucracies “rogue agencies” is not hyperbole, but rather a legitimate description of the status and behavior of these entities. Think about it:

1. You have the U.S. Customs and Border Protection, an agency operating under the purview of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS)

2. You have the DHS, a department operating under the purview of the Executive Branch

3. You have the Executive Branch, a branch operating under the purview of the schizophrenic ravings of one Mr. Donald Trump. You know, Donald Trump? The guy who claims that ICE agents are liberating American cities from MS-13? The guy who oversaw a 30% increase in ICE related arrests during his first year in the White House? The guy who wants a fucking border wall?

That guy?

Because I have a feeling that that guy isn’t losing any sleep over abuses on the part of his Gestapo. In that case, who are these agencies answering to? Who will hold them to account? Who is going to step up to the plate, for God’s sake?



Ahhhh, man, that’s… that’s a good one.


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